Distrito Federal

24 de Julio, 2008



-$5 tarjeta de llamadas locales to call Jessica when got in

-$25 USD $250 pesos in taxi fair to Jessica’s apartment (total rip-off)

-$10 USD 2 ‘gringas’ tacos y ‘pay’ de limon (key lime pie) for Jess and I: INCREDIBLE

I’m already having more thoughts than normal. What is it about travel that makes you so much more open to yourself? So much more introspective, outwardly curious?... I feel at peace, at this point at the end of the day physically tired, but emotionally and mentally… prepared. I talked to Andrew while waiting to board, which was somehow the perfect thing to do. Was crying before the conversation really got going, but it was healthy, and right for him to know me so well, to know my words before I even knew what I mean.



“I just wish…”

“That you could share it”

“How did you know? I didn’t even know that was what I wanted to say”



I couldn’t explain what I want with much clarity, because I desire so much and am going in so many directions. But, that is exactly where I want to be. Mexico City is abounding with possibilities. So far everyone has been more than kind, and I’ve already sent out ten or so e-mails to people looking for roommates. As I want to spend a lot of time out in this city when I am not working on my Fellowship, visiting Guanajuato, Oaxaca, the beach, the nearby pyramids (!) it seems to make the most sense to have a nesting place where I can safely leave my stuff, prepare my own food, and sleep well. Though I might miss out on the social scene of a hostal, I’ll just have to go out of my way to meet young people otherways, through couchsurfing or something.

Mainly, I am contented, and alive in a way I haven’t felt consistently since before graduation and the dismemberment of the life I had struggled to piece together for four years. Finally, my life is my own again, and I like myself more this way. I take better care of myself. I drink water, brush and floss my teeth, take vitamins… am intentional. I ask a lot of questions. I forgot how much travelling is like being in love- dreams are more intense and the stakes are higher. It has been awhile since I was immersed in either, but it feels good to be back.

I’ve told people how I feel in love with my project, in love with this opportunity. To those in love with real people, this may sound strange, or sad even. But I feel lucky, and relieved, because so much of the results lie in my own actions, my determination, as opposed to the mysteries of someone elses’ heart. When my emotions get curled around these ideas or possibilities, when I got that phone message from V-Day, or Andres, the producer of the Monologues here in DF, I felt this incredible welling of Feeling. My neutral head space dwells on this project, like a thumb on a worry stone, or a lover on their love. Maybe a creator or parent relationship would be more apt, but until I’ve felt that kind of love, I’m going to stick to my comparison. Time to rest now, details tomorrow, and some walks around the city.