Brighton, the Robin Hood, and the kindness of strangers

(Brighton from the pier)

I’m sitting in the Robin Hood, a People’s Pub that donates all the money to charity, and allows puppies inside. It is a block-ish from the boiling ocean, and I am feeling rejuvenated. The beach is wild and cold and windy in a very Oregon way, it saltily smacks your face and wakes you up. Reminds me of the surreally beautiful beach trip with Anyel when I got back from Ecuador and was heart sore. The way the foam was piled as deep as snow drifts, the dramatic lighting, rainbow, and wild joy that I could still feel.

You know the old saying, “wherever you go, there you are”? Well, I feel that I am rediscovering the parts of myself I like best, and am remembering to enjoy my own company. I am a woman who doesn’t mind the rain, and who is drawn to the ocean. There I feel more thoughtful. It is easier to be intentional as well as kind. I feel a renewed optimism. In myself, in love; I feel the Regina Spektor lyrics, “You peer inside yourself -You take the things you like - And try to love the things you took - And then you take that love you made - And stick it into some - Someone else's heart “. I have worried my heart is closed, but it isn’t. I love in many other ways, and in time another person will come along who, like the ocean, brings out the best parts of me and loves me in spite of the rest. When I was with Andrew before things got so hard, I was so damn happy my heart was that much more open to the other relationships in my life as well.

My project is going good good good! Ana kindly offered for me to stay this week, and it is so wonderful to alight here in the lovely Brighton with such good and intellectually stimulating company. I plan to transcribe and translate all my remaining (read: NUMEROUS) hours of Mexico interviews. And then we’ll go to London for a UK Feminist Conference, and then hopefully back to Cambridge which is showing the VMs! What a crazy coincidence; I’m not sure if the Vagina Monologues really ARE everywhere, or if I’ve just had the most incredible luck thus far. Then back to London for the European V-Day Conference. Serbia plans are (tentatively and with much pushy Americanism) falling into place.

Point is, I am learning to walk alone but not be alone, and when I am, to not be lonely.